A Heart Without A Beat
by siriusblackisback123
Summary: Sirius Black never loved... not after his girlfriend died for him. 'His grief is what almost killed him in Azkaban... he could never forgive himself.'
1. Chapter 1

Harry sat in Sirius Black's old bedroom, surrounded by Quidditch posters and scraps of parchment. Only two years ago, Sirius himself had sat in this room, laughing as he showed his godson pictures of the marauders from their time in Hogwarts. But now, Sirius was trapped in a dimension on the other side of a veil that Harry could not enter. Harry picked up a photograph he had never seen before of his godfather, he was with a girl who had tawny brown hair and deep blue eyes. Harry thought she looked familiar, but he couldn't remember where he had seen her before. Sirius, of course, was extremely handsome, his black hair tumbling in curls over his sharp face, and his smile was as big as Harry had ever seen it. Sirius had often looked unseeingly into the distance when he thought no one could see him, almost as though he was going to cry. Harry had often wondered what was going on inside his head, but never asked, in case he was recalling memories from his torturous experience in Azkaban. Little did Harry know that Sirius was actually remembering the only girl he ever loved, the reason why he never got married while his friends did.

'They had loved each other,' Remus told Harry after he questioned him later that day about the photograph, 'And they were the happiest couple in the Order. When she died… he was heartbroken. His grief never left him, and he was never the same after it. He told me, that when he was in Azkaban, the one memory that kept coming back to him was Rachael's death… It was what nearly killed him.'


	2. Chapter 2

James Potter sat under a large oak tree in the grounds of Hogwarts. Surrounding him were his fellow marauders, Remus Lupin, who sat reading a large, thick book, Peter Pettigrew, and his best friend Sirius Black.

Sirius kept looking over at a group of girls in their year who sat in a circle laughing.

"What's up, Sirius?" James asked him.

He sighed. "Nothing."

"Oh, come on Sirius," Remus laughed, looking up. "We can all tell you're looking for the attention of a certain girl."

They laughed as Sirius looked haughty.

"I'll have you know I don't go chasing after girls."

"No, you let the girls chase you. Now come on, or we won't get to go to Hogsmeade.'

They got up and walked towards the castle, Sirius glancing behind at the girls who were still sitting in the fading light.

Arriving in the wizarding village they headed straight for the Three Broomsticks, followed closely by the same girls who were in the grounds of Hogwarts.

James nudged Sirius. "Look who it is." He nodded towards a figure sitting alone.

"Snivellus. What's he doing here, then?"

"Good point." A smirk crept across James' face. "Why don't we find out?"

Sirius frowned. 'He does like to chum with my cousin. Wonder what side he'll be on when we leave Hogwarts tomorrow.'

"Have you gone mad?"

James and Sirius stopped and turned around.

Remus looked amazed that his friends would even _think_ of doing such a thing. "Why? Why would you go pick a fight with him?"

"Oh, come on Remus," said Sirius, looking amused. "It won't take long."

"I know enough not to waste my breath trying to talk you out of this, but I'm having no part of this."

"But- But Remus, please! We'll be s-safer if we're all t-together, r-right, James?" Peter, as always, was terrified.

"Oh, come on, Moony, let's just go." James looked bored and was watching Snape as he talked.

Lupin sighed. "One of us needs to keep an eye on you, I suppose."

Sirius laughed and lightly punched Lupin's shoulder. "I knew you would back us up, Moony.'

Remus didn't smile. 'We're not going to hurt him. We're just going to scare him.'

'Remus. Listen to me. We need to make sure he fears us when the time comes. Lighten up. Anyway, I don't think they've got shared cells in Azkaban.'

Lupin sighed. 'Sorry. Favourite time of the month's coming up.'

James kept his eyes on Snape, Peter looked round him, confused, and Sirius rolled his eyes.

'The time when I turn into a bloody werewolf, do you remember that?' Lupin shouted.

'Keep your voice down, we don't want all of Scotland to hear us,' Sirius said teasingly.

'That's it, he's not getting away from me this time,' James muttered under his breath, and started towards Snape, who had turned to leave. They caught up with the two outside the Hog's Head, Sirius teasing Remus along the way, and Peter jogging to keep up.

'So, Snivellus. How are you enjoying your last day at Hogwarts, then?' The sixth-formers had finished their leaving ceremony that morning, and were free to wander the grounds of Hogwarts and Hogsmeade for the last time, or leave early if they wished.

'Go away, James. I think we would both like to avoid a fight on our last day,' Snape replied harshly.

'Or are you looking for Lily? You won't find her in there,' James said with a smirk, 'That's not her class of people. But you like to hang out in there, don't you? With your Death Eater scum?'

'Shut up, James. You're going too far,' Sirius whispered in James' ear.

'Fine. Then let's take this elsewhere.' Snape was seething after James' remark about Death Eaters.

'Gentlemen.' James addressed the Marauders. They all stepped forward and put their hands on James' shoulder. He extended his hand towards Snape, who looked at it, then slowly grasped it with his own. As soon as they touched, they disapparated. The only one who saw them go was a girl, the one that had earlier caught Sirius' attention. She and Sirius had been catching each other's eye all year, but she was too shy to say anything, and Sirius was confused by the feelings he felt for her – this wasn't like how he usually felt towards girls, for him, they were easy catch, girls fell over each other to even share a class with him… but with Rachael it was different.

She saw them disapparate, and with a sudden feeling of dread, she screamed 'Sirius!' and ran towards the empty space.


End file.
